FORTUNATE IMPOSSIBILITY

Fortunate Impossibility

An Italian, who was very poor, and very much addicted to play, used to apostrophise Fortune thus:  “Treacherous goddess! You can make me lose, but  you cannot make me pay.”

THE DOG AND THE SHADOW

THE DOG AND THE SHADOW

            A Dog crossing a river on a plank, with a piece of flesh in his mouth, saw its reflection in the stream, and fancied he had discovered another and a richer booty.  He could not resist the desire to seize upon the tempting morsel.  Accordingly, dropping the meat into the water, which was instantly hurried away by the current, he snatched at the shadow;  but how great was his vexation to find that it had disappeared.  “Unhappy creature that I am!”, cried he; “in grasping at a shadow I have lost the substance.  

THE DERVIS AND THE ATHEIST.

THE DERVIS AND THE ATHEIST

Atheists are those ridiculous and impious persons who, contrary to the evidence of their senses, pretend not to believe in the existence of God. 

One of them was disputing with a dervis, and said to him: “You tell me God is omnipresent, yet I cannot see him anywhere; show him to me, and I will believe it. – Again I say that a man ought not to be punished for his crimes by your laws, since you affirm that everything is done by the will of God. – You say also that Satan is chastised by being condemned to hell-fire; now, he is said to be of that element, and it stands to reason that fire can do no harm to it self...”

     The dervis, after a moment’s reflection, took a large lump of earth; struck the atheist a violent blow with it, and then left him.  The latter went directly to the cadi; complained the injury, and demanded justice.  The dervis was therefore, summoned to answer why, instead of replying to the man, he had thus ill-treated him.  “What I did”, explained the dervis, was in answer to his foolish objections.  He declares that he has a pain; let him show it if he wishes us to believe him.  He accuses me of a crime, yet he maintains that man ought not to be punished as responsible being, since everything, according to our doctrine, happens by the will of God.  He complains moreover, that I have injured him by striking him with a piece of earth; now, he does not deny that man is made of the earth, and he argues that an element can do no harm to itself. His accusation, then, falls to the ground, for by his own mouth he has absolved me.”

The atheist was confounded, and retired amidst the railleries of the auditors.  

A CANDID ⁷ CULPRIT ⁸

   The Duke of Ossuna, Viceroy ¹ of Naples, travelling once through Barcelona,  paid a visit to the galley ²-slaves.  He questioned many of them, and inquired what crimes they severally ³ had committed.  All  endeavoured to appear innocent.  One said he was put there by mistake;  another that his judge had been bribed to convict him;  a third was there by treachery ⁴:  in short,  all were perfectly guiltless, and, according to their own statements, injured men.  At last the Duke came to a poor fellow of more humble appearance than the rest, whom he also asked what he was there for.  “My Lord,” replied he, “I cannot deny that I deserve to be here; for, being in great want of money to keep from starvation, I stole a purse from a monk on his way to Tarragona.”  The Duke, sternly addressing him, said:  “Rascal ⁶ that you are, what business have you here among such honest men?  Leave their company instantly, so as not to spoil ⁵ them all.”  He was thus set at liberty, while the others remained in the galleys.

1.      O preposto de um rei em um outro país.  2  navio a remo ou misto.  3. Individualmente.

5. Contaminar,  deteriorar.  6.   Patife. {esta palavra é antiquada, embora atualmente possa ser usada na linguagem infantil para ralhar, mas sem raiva verdadeira}. 7. Franco. 8. Culpado (de crime)

A RULING PASSION.

Another gambler on his death-bed, having seriously  taken leave of his physician, who told him that he could not live beyond eight o’clock next morning, exerted the little strength he had left to call the doctor back;  having accomplished this with difficulty,  for he could scarcely speak above a whisper - . “Doctor”,  said he, “I’ll   bet you  twenty dollars I shall live till nine.”.  

Donkey

THE DONKEY

A Donkey was laden with salt.  He came to a brook, stumbled and fell into the water.  As he rose up, he felt that his burden had become much lighter, for a great part of the salt had melted.  This he observed with joy, and the next time he came that way, laden with sponges he laid himself purposely down in the water, hoping that the same might happen to his burden as before.

But the sponges, soaked through with water, became so heavy that the ass could not rise up again, and was drowned under his burden.